bad dream

I have, as do many I'm sure have very vivid dreams and night before.last was a doozy. I was laying there waiting for sleep, had taken my pills, and waited. Normally I can tell when a dream starts, the scenery usually changes, something is different, but not this time.

As I was lying there the dogs started to get restless, then fuss, then went a bit crazy. I though I heard noises coming from the basement garage shop area. We.live in a very rural area, and a while back had a triple homicide within a couple miles. A crazy naked guy crossed a swamp, broke into a home and waited, killed a man, his wife and his brother. Beating them to death. The whole area was on pins and needles, really a rare incedent but it gets your mind going late at night. Anyway, as the dogs got crazy , I heard noises the wind came up. I started to panic and ever since the murders we keep a 22 rifle near the bed. I started to go fir the gun, I was fumbling with it and suddenly felt I was being held.down. I couldn't move!!! I tried to yell but nothing came out, I tried to scream, nothing. No change in scenery, still lying in my bed, dressed the same, I was being held down and nothing changed, it couldn't be a dream. I fought and struggled till I was exhausted, I couldn't fight anymore. As I started giving in I started to relax, I began calming down. Gradually I realized it was a dream, and I had a battle with sleep paralysis, doesn't happen often, in fact not for a couple of years. Everything settled down, I woke up and it was eerily quiet.

I started thinking about what had just happened, and it scared me even more. I have acted out my dreams before, not so much that my wife needed to sleep in another room, but enough that she has been in the way. Thank God it was sleep paralysis, what would have or could have happened with that gun? The fear of that is much stronger than a crazy naked guy breaking in, the gun is gone now.

I have argued with people before about guns and how some people just shouldn't have them, I proved my own point. The reality is though that Parkinson's takes so much from us, to the point that everything I do has to have that as a reality check. I do a lot yet, cabinetry,general woodworking. The hard part are the things I can't control. I read.here the posts of caregivers and am both amazed and scared for my wife and myself. Thankfully we know that we all travel different roads but the overall destination is the same for everyone. I may not have the dementia, I may, I don't know we'll prepare for the worst, hope.for the.best, but damned if I could find enough humor in this for a tv show.

Parkinson's and driving

\

Driving is hard to give up, especially for those of us who live several miles from a town, but when I scared myself I realized I had to stop. I was an airline pilot for 27 years, a Capt for about half of that time. I've dealt with many emergency situation but one day a few months ago I knew I had to limit my driving to as little as possible.

I was drving home from about an hour away, maybe 40 minutes from home and in the oncoming lane I saw a car that was about to turn and cross my lane was about to be rear ended very hard. The car coming was oblivious to their being stopped and waiting to turn. I saw it coming, I had the cruise control on, and I froze, I didn't do anything to avoid it. All of a sudden it was happening in slow motion and I was watching from somewhere else, then right next to me BANG. Just as I got there they hit, I still had the cruise control on. Finally I hit the brakes, I spun out across the lane and intto the ditch. Had someone been coming I would have hit them. When I hit the brakes I just stopped moving, I couldn't respond. I just shook when I stopped in the ditch. Like I said I spent my life trained to handle much larger emergencies and I froze.

I could say it's a fluke, maybe the meds, whatever but I know that something in my brain just shut down. The person I was, was no longer at the wheel. We live 6 miles out of town, my limit is anout 7 and only if I really have to. It takes every bit of my concentration to do that, and I still find myself drifting away from the task at hand. I know we are all different with this, but after I had to quit flying before we knew what was really going on I drove truck over the road ( worst job I ever had) I made myself a promise that I would never cause anyone to put one of those little white crosses by the side of the road. When I spun across that lane of traffic I realized that I could do that because of PD. I hate being tied to the house so much, but whether it's meds, or PD, or both the risk is getting to high. The other thing is now when it sit down for a few minutes I can't hardly stay awake, that includes behind the wheel. My wife now also tries to make sure I don't drive, she does every errand she can and I know how much it increases her work load.

I'm 61 and went from flying a 4 engine passenger jet to very uncomfortable driving since 2006. I was dx 2 years ago. It's hard but the consequences could be harder. When the time comes that you or a loved on realizes you can't drive it's time to quit. My wife did see it coming well before I did, she completely wore out the imaginary brake peddle on here side of the car..